Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone.
Solitude expresses the joy of being alone.
The human condition. We are born alone. We die alone. We are separated by “fences” as A Course in Miracles (ACIM, W-pII.5.1:1-2) calls bodies which can never really join together… not really, although they do try.
Odes, poems, songs, philosophical essays, plays and movies have all attempted to define, to explain, to assuage the loneliness that seems to lie deep within the heart of every person.
The newspapers – and no greater authority than the U.S. Surgeon General – tell us that we are currently experiencing an “epidemic of loneliness,” and isolation never before seen in human history. The report compares the health effects of loneliness to be as harmful as smoking cigarettes.
The report summarizes,
The physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.
Pretty dire. The evidence of our circumstances, of our eyes seems clear.
(God-incidence! As I typed the last sentence, Shawn Colvin was singing Paul Simon’sAmerican Tune, and sang the words: “….my eyes could clearly see/the statue of liberty.”)
And this phenomenon is not limited to people like me, one of an increasing number of people who live alone! If you have ever been lonely in a relationship, the loneliness of that situation can feel especially acute, given the contrast between the expectations of companionship and togetherness, and the reality.
No, if being around people was the answer, we could just “take hostages,” as we say in 12-step recovery (meaning to latch on to someone and hang on for dear life!) Or we could just go out into a busy street, or bar or church and – problem solved! No more loneliness….
NOT! Lonely in a crowd is such a common experience.
So, what do we do? How do we escape the seemingly inescapable condition of the chronic lonely? Is there an answer? Is there any hope while we live in physical reality, in bodies, in the 21st century where everyone’s eyes are on their phones, and we go into our solitary cubicles at work, small apartments or big empty houses?
Yes!
This epidemic of isolation is a symptom that is showing us a way to true love, true connection, true union in a way that is lasting and real.
The Course makes clear that we are infinite and connected to each other, and to the Whole Source of Everything, in reality. We only seem to be separate beings.
The body is a fence the Son of God imagines he has built, to separate parts of his Self from other parts. ²It is within this fence he thinks he lives, to die as it decays and crumbles. ³For within this fence he thinks that he is safe from love.(ACIM, W-pII.5.1:1-3)
The body cannot know. ²And while you limit your awareness to its tiny senses, you will not see the grandeur that surrounds you. ³God cannot come into a body, nor can you join Him there. ⁴Limits on love will always seem to shut Him out, and keep you apart from Him. ⁵The body is a tiny fence around a little part of a glorious and complete idea. ⁶It draws a circle, infinitely small, around a very little segment of Heaven, splintered from the whole, proclaiming that within it is your kingdom, where God can enter not. (ACIM, T-18.VIII.2:1-6)
Do not accept this little, fenced-off aspect as yourself. ²The sun and ocean are as nothing beside what you are. ³The sunbeam sparkles only in the sunlight, and the ripple dances as it rests upon the ocean. ⁴Yet in neither sun nor ocean is the power that rests in you. ⁵Would you remain within your tiny kingdom, a sorry king, a bitter ruler of all that he surveys, who looks on nothing yet who would still die to defend it? ⁶This little self is not your kingdom. (ACIM, T-18.VIII.7:1-6)
The body demarcates the sliver, the fragment, the tiny piece of Heaven that is our true self. And until we realize that we are more than a body, more than this little “parenthesis in eternity,” to quote Sir Thomas Browne we will experience the pain of loneliness.
To appreciate the joy of solitude, we must appreciate that we are, in fact never alone. We rise above thoughts of the physical, thoughts of the body and begin to realize that – while bodies cannot join – minds can join together, then we begin to realize that loneliness and separation are mere mirages, hallucinations that are not true in reality.
We are never alone.
You can never suffer because the Source of all joy goes with you wherever you go. ³You can never be alone because the Source of all life goes with you wherever you go. ⁴Nothing can destroy your peace of mind because God goes with you wherever you go. (ACIM, W-41.4:2-4)
I said that I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. ⁵That is why I am the light of the world. ⁶If I am with you in the loneliness of the world, the loneliness is gone. ⁷You cannot maintain the illusion of loneliness if you are not alone. (ACIM, T-8.IV.2:4-7)
The illusion of aloneness is dispelled in the light, when we understand that coming together in our minds – with true ideas of healing, of love. We are connected, all of us, through our minds and to God Mind, a higher Source.
Alone we can do nothing, but together our minds fuse into something whose power is far beyond the power of its separate parts. ⁷By not being separate, the Mind of God is established in ours and as ours. ⁸This Mind is invincible because it is undivided.
Whenever two or more are gathered with like-minded purpose, the strength of their ideas, of their intention are magnified.
The Theory of Critical Mass explains this on a worldly level, whereby any idea needs to build up in a number of minds, until it reaches a point when the idea reaches critical mass. Then it takes on a life of its own and is unstoppable.
For example, the fax machine had been around for nearly 150 years, existing in various forms and uses, until the fax machine reached a critical mass in 1987. Once people began to assume that 'everybody else' had a fax machine, the technology reached critical mass and took off.
When one person has an idea, that idea is only strengthened, can only grow, when it is given away! Now two people have the idea, and it is strengthened in both.
When we share at the level of mind, we are not only joined with others, but we also become more aware that we are a part of a larger “body” in spirit and in truth. The “reality” of aloneness of separate bodies and isolation falls to the light of Truth.
Join with me in rejoicing in our connection, our community, in our union in Spirit.
Happy Sunday,
Johnny
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