In a 1965 Joan Crawford movie, “I Saw What You Did” two teenage girls are home alone babysitting. Bored, they begin to make prank phone calls, randomly dialing people and saying, I saw what you did, and I know who you are.
Unfortunately, they just happen to call a man who recently murdered his wife, disposing of her body in the woods. Thinking his crime has been discovered, he begins to track down the callers.
Perhaps not a great movie, but it illustrates a point. Go up to any random person and say, I know what you did and I would wager many of them will begin to sweat. I know I would….
We all have a past. We all have a shadow. We all have that darkness within us that haunts us. (Or it should haunt us. I suppose sociopaths are not haunted by their past deeds. I’m pretty sure I am not a sociopath because my conscience is LOUD!)
Carl Jung described our shadow this way:
The shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors and so comprise the whole historical aspect of the unconscious.
The darkness – from things we did, from things done by others, and by just being a human being in a body on this planet connected to the collective unconsciousness that we all share, is universal and serves a purpose.
On top of all this, we are all born with personalities that (to varying degrees) shape how we perceive the world and the events in our lives. Some of us seem to naturally have perennially sunny dispositions and others of us walk under dark clouds of gloom.
A patient goes to a doctor, extremely depressed. The doctor listens to the patient’s tale of woe. When the patient finishes, the doctor exclaims:
I know just the cure for you. There is a clown performing in town, Carlini. You must go see Carlini. This clown’s act will cheer you up. It would cheer up the most depressed person. Go see Carlini!
The patient looks up at the doctor, sadder than ever, and says, “But doctor. I am Carlini.”
Clearly, whatever our life circumstances and events that shaped our history, and whatever our temperament, we all have a shadow. And at some point in our lives, it needs to be dealt with. Our shadow needs to be seen, confronted, embraced, and finally integrated for us to become fully realized – human and spiritual — beings.
I believe that our darkness compels us to search for the Light, for it is in the contrast that we can see what makes us human. It is this journey that awakens us to the Divine Beings that we all truly are.
The true calling is to delve deep into the mystery of the “valley of the deep shadow” and find the Light that is inside of us, “hidden under a bushel” which will light up the whole household (aka the whole world).
Standing at the entrance to the valley, it seems that embracing our shadow is an impossible task. And yes, it is difficult, but there is no avoiding it. As I pointed out in the earlier blog posts, pretending there is no shadow, or pretending that the shadow calls us to change outer circumstances leads nowhere.
Shadow work is basically a deep-dive – usually through meditation and journaling – into what makes us tick and why. In our journey of discovery, we come to see ourselves fully. We can embrace those parts of us that are heavy, dark, or troubling and find compassion for ourselves and others.
Then those parts that no longer serve our highest good can be released or transformed into assets that will serve us… and serve others!
Compassion is one of the ways shadow work becomes a gift. We can help others feel, and overcome their shadow-selves, because we’ve been there, and we know!
Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.
A compassionate self is one of the ways that we are changed by this courageous adventure into the deepest, darkest parts of our psyche.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
As someone who has known many troubles – troubles on a scale few of us will ever experience – the Dalai Lama has developed a tremendous capacity for compassion.
In his own words:
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, in: Countering Stress and Depression (emphasis added)
Far from being a theoretical or esoteric exercise, shadow work is immensely profitable and practical.
Embrace your shadow. Turn and face it, look at it, and do the difficult work of clearing out these shadows.
Bon dimanche
John
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