THE SHADOW OF YOUR SMILE
Shadow Work for Dummies V
Another pop reference from back in the day, the torch song, “The Shadow of Your Smile” was one that my mother would sing (among dozens of others) while working around the house. It won both a Grammy as song of the year, as well as an Oscar and Golden Globe award that year (1965) as the theme song for the movie, “The Sandpiper.”
What is it about shadows that we find so compelling, often scary, or unsettling and mysterious? Physical shadows are nothing more than places where the light has been dimmed by an object blocking a light source. Yet the human mind has put meaning and importance, power and danger to the idea of “The Shadow,” as the old radio show ominously intoned each week.
Shadow puppets date back some 2,000 years to early Chinese dynasties. Shadow the Hedgehog appeared in Sega’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” game in 2001. Conceived as just a one-time character, Shadow was so popular with fans that he is now featured in all their platforms. “Shadow people” are a thing some people see (and photograph). Shadow boxing is also a thing.
And on and on….
The point is, the idea of shadows is deeply ingrained in our human psyche, so there is no wonder that on the large scale of collective human consciousness, we carry along with us, inescapably and unsurprisingly a “shadow self.”
The concept comes from Carl Jung, who believed in the existence of universal psychic structures that underlie all human experience and behavior. He discovered that his patient's dreams followed certain patterns and had elements of myths, legends, and fairy tales. Jung initially referred to these "primordial images" as a part of our collective subconscious.
While the list of Jungian archetypes is a bit fluid, he identified several main ones, including the Shadow, that part of us that is literally “in the shadows.”
The shadow archetype consists of our sexual and other instincts, existing as a part of our unconscious mind. The Shadow is an amalgamation of our repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings.
Society expects us to adapt to its norms and expectations. The Shadow contains everything that is unacceptable to society, to our own values and morals. It has all of our lesser, denser, negative, and destructive qualities. When we are (or when we feel) envious, greedy, bigoted, or prejudiced, hateful, aggressive, lustful, violent or aggressive, our shadow-self is showing itself.
Coming out of the shadows if you will.
“But these instincts have not disappeared. They have merely lost their contact with our consciousness and are thus forced to assert themselves in an indirect fashion.”
-- Carl Jung
The natural instinct of most people is to repress these ideas and instincts. To not act out on them.
But the shadow self will not go quietly into that good night. What we resists, persists.
The dilemma is that we cannot (should not) act out on our basest instincts, compulsions, and harmful desires, yet repressing them doesn’t make them go away, and it can even make them get stronger!
What’s a person to do??
Therapist Jor-El Caraballo states "… I subscribe to the belief that we all have a version of a shadow that, when integrated, can be well-accepted and help us better manage our own mental health and relationships." (emphasis added)
Integrating the shadow-self into our conscious, waking self makes us more fully human, whole and complete.
Caraballo’s, “The Shadow Work Workbook” uses techniques to help us see the unconscious process that triggers our shadow-self reactions. When we find ourselves jealous, angry, annoyed, etc. at first we might act on these feelings without consciously stopping to examine why we are feeling/reacting that way.
Rather than repressing these emotions and ideations, and rather than spontaneously acting on them, we can start just by noticing the feelings. Something is uncomfortable, or scary, or difficult. Perhaps we can’t even name the feeling or what is happening.
We may notice the feelings, but instead of owning them, it will appear that the people around us are behaving in these ways. Perhaps they are. But often we will find out that we are projecting our feelings and thoughts onto the people around us.
· She’s making me angry.
· They’re being rude.
· He’s being stubborn, thoughtless, careless, difficult, etc.
Projection is a classic psychological technique our shadow-self uses to keep from being seen. If you’re being a pain, then it can’t be me. Projection is a self-defense mechanism, projecting something we don’t like about ourselves onto another. It keeps us from having to acknowledge the parts of ourselves we don’t like.
Yet upon reflection, we will see that somewhere in there, we contributed to the situation, and may even have been the cause of the difficulties.
The process of getting in touch with, learning about, learning to recognize, and integrating --learning to deal with, not suppressing or acting upon – our shadow self, that is a journey that many people will take… must take, for the shadow will not be denied once it is expressing itself.
Indeed! Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of people? The Shadow knows...
Bon dimanche
John
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