My mother had a lot of expressions, many rooted in her Depression-era childhood. Typically, they were meant to convey some “truth” that we should heed about life and how hard and unfair it is. These were ideas that she (and many who grew up in her era) had about wealth, poverty, the haves and have-nots.
“If a rich man and a poor man rub elbows, the only thing a poor man gets is a hole in his elbow,” went one such aphorism. Another was:
“God helps those who help themselves,” meaning you had to show God that you were struggling before God would lift a finger to help you.
“Wish in one hand, poop in another, and see which one fills up first,” was a particularly graphic one.
And she didn’t use the word, “poop” either.
Another referred to people who she believed had unfair advantages:
“That one, he steps in s*** and comes out smelling like a rose.” This was usually said with envy, referring to someone’s underserved luck or good fortune.
She had many other sayings, many of them warnings or admonitions to not set your sights too high, to not “get above your station,” not expect or hope for too much.
Society has many more of these, besides the ones my mother so colorfully used. Among the more negative ones:
Life sucks and then you die.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.
If anything can go wrong, it will (“Murphy’s Law”)
And Finagle's Corollary to Murphy's law: "Anything that can go wrong, will—and at the worst possible moment."
Some people have gone one further and postulated, “Murphy was an optimist.”
The ubiquity of pessimistic language that points to poverty, lack and limitation is often so ingrained in our thinking and speaking habits, we don’t notice it is even there.
People who consistently say, “Sorry,” in every other sentence for example.
Or those who use phrases like,
· I’m sick and tired.
· I can’t get a break.
· It’s dog eat dog
· Back to the rat race
· And the ever popular, “Same s*** different day.”
Funny how many of these cynical attitudes are tied to images of defecation!
One that comes to mind for me lately is “A fly in the ointment.” I was surprised to find that the phrase comes to us from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 10:1
As dead flies bring a stench to the perfumer’s oil,
so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.
The Biblical phrase means that a small amount of stupidity can outweigh our positive attributes. Modern usage generally means that there is a flaw in an otherwise perfect plan or situation, which spoils the whole thing.
I can relate to both.
I have what many would describe (from the outside looking in) as an awesome, or even a charmed life.
I am a huge proponent of tithing, prosperity and abundance. And, to the extent that my consciousness makes, it possible, I do live a life based on tithing, of prosperity and abundance. I have survived and thrived despite (or because of) serious poverty, homelessness, addiction, cancer, HIV/AIDS, childhood sexual abuse and more.
And yet, these stumbling blocks have become miraculous stepping-stones to a life beyond my wildest dreams.
For example, as I write this week’s blog post, I am sailing across the Atlantic Ocean on the Queen Mary 2, ocean liner. My 8th such trip.
We are on Day 4 of a 9-day trans-Atlantic Crossing. We are in and out of squalls, which are coming up as the result of Hurricane Nigel, which the ship is skirted far south, away from the remnants of the storm. But we can feel the effects of its outer edges, which is still quite strong.
Manny and Erica are eating well, and I am enjoying the rolling ocean while we spend our luxury cruise sitting in the kennels with the other dog owners.
Life is more than good. It’s amazing. Blessed. The "Life of My Dreams."
And yet, there’s a fly in the ointment.
The addictive personality that has been with me my whole life, is not quiet. It lurks darkly and wants to destroy the beautiful life, health, joy and peace of mind that I have been blessed with – blessed by God, the Universe, the Great Spirit, Pachamama, or whatever name you like to use for Source.
Not to be too cute about it, but I call it, “The Caddyshack Phenomenon.”
If you recall the movie, “Caddyshack” you’ll know what I’m talking about:
The scene in the pool. (Again, with the scatological metaphors!!)
(For those who haven’t seen it, you can watch the video in the link).
The Caddyshack Phenomenon basically (and hilariously) illustrates this concept:
Everything is going swimmingly (pun intended) and then there’s a huge flaw that makes the whole thing unusable.
An otherwise perfectly clean swimming pool is contaminated by one small, floating piece of….
All the water in the pool is clean. The whole pool is fine to swim in. But nobody can (or will) swim in it because of the “fly in the ointment.”
This idea is akin to the Catholic church’s concept of Original Sin. We are born perfect, but there is this one shadow on an otherwise immaculate soul, that renders the whole soul now imperfect, tainted, corrupted.
We can thank Saint Augustine of Hippo for the idea of this heavy and inescapable legacy, for it was he who merged the various ideas of Adam’s fall from those Jewish and early Christian writers and coalesced them all into the Original Sin concept as we know it today.
The Greeks called it Hamartia or a "fatal flaw" best illustrated in stories like Oedipus Rex or Hamlet.
So, how do I deal with the fly in the ointment (the turd in the pool). Overlook it?
Remove it? Accept it?
In the movie they drain the pool and scrub it in white Haz-Mat suits. Seems a bit over-the-top.
Does my whole soul need to be scrubbed clean like a hazardous waste site, just because I have one, persistent flaw – albeit a serious one?
No. It is already pure and perfect.
To address the problem, the answer is not to focus on the problem.
The answer is to focus on the beauty, the grace, the tremendous good, that is my life – that is in yourlife. And then ask to have the flaw, the addiction, the crap removed.
When I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger.
When I focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger.
When I focus on what I lack, that is all I see. How depressing.
But when I appreciate all the good in my life, that grows and grows in my field of perception, and crowds out any seeming flaw or defect.
And realizing that I do not have the power to remove character defects and other negative attributes, I ask God to remove them for me. And God will, with my cooperation, doing my part.
But what if I can’t see anything good at the moment? What if it all seems like it’s going to s*** (pun intended)
Abraham Hicks says, “What if nothing in your life is worth appreciating? The way to start positive momentum is to start by being as general as you can.
“Could you focus on your body lying in the bed and enjoying being there? Can you appreciate that you slept all night, that breathed all night, and you didn’t need to think about it?
“Appreciating the roof over your head. The systems that provide electricity to you. Aren’t there more general things that you could appreciate, and get more specific?”
So, when something floats up in your life, a Baby Ruth chocolate bar slyly disguised as a piece of crap, floating in the immaculate infinity of YOU, ask to have it removed.
And it will be removed!
That is my hope for you today, and for myself.
Happy Sunday,
Johnny
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